I miss it. For one moment I am totally full and my flesh is alive and I make the sound I never make anytime else. It's a sound my body knew long before that confident ex boyfriend found a way to make me sing it out. His giving me anal sex on our first night together was so bold and surprising I gave in without question. It happened to be my very first time and the sound I made then is the same one I make every time, even though I am alone when I fall silent.Loneliness is always that much worse when I am covered in lube and my own sense of completion. I am beautiful when I am breathless and flushed with my hair across the pillow, but there is no one to see it. I lie in the dark with no words to say and no one to hear them. There is no body to press my own into. I remember what it is to find someone else in the dark. I used to love hearing the shock or the pride in his voice, though I liked him better when he was rendered speechless. If I was to share something truly disgusting and. But there he was night after night, and year after year at home alone with a growing daughter as his only companion. However, there were questions, questions that have lead them to this moment in time where it felt like they were about to loss everything. ''Dad, you know why I have to do this. You know that it has nothing to do with me being in love with him. I am getting married today because I have to protect us dad. If word ever got out about us, you would go to jail. And with Aunt Mary and Aunt Pearl sniffing around, well who knows what could happen. Look daddy my plan is going to work. I will marry Larry today and pretend to be the happy bride who is so much in love with her new husband that can't see straight. But you and I will know the truth.'' John caressed her cheek with the palm of his hand. Deep down he knew she was right. But when he thought of her giving her body to another man, something that only he had had for nearly seven year, well the very idea of it could.
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